She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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