so let's talk penis.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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