You don't have asthma, your pregnant
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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