I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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