Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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