We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
you never un-have a 4some
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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