Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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