I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
