He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
