i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize