Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
