I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
