? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize