i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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