just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
