How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
