hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
