we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
