you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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