he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
