the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Randomize