I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
