just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
