He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
