Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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