I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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