I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
