if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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