All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
