Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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