So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
