I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Well I just put wine in my tea
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
