Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
