quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
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