I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
