i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
