Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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