I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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