If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
