You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
