Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I need help removing her.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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