dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
