And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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