fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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