I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
