I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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