Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize