theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
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