i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
