Don't make out with my wife yet
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
