she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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