There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
