it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
