If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I have aggressive nipples.
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