im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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