Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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